Friday, April 13, 2012

When Shakespeare Does His Taxes (Guest Post)

At this time of year, even Shakespeare’s thoughts turn to getting the income tax forms in on time. Bardfilm and Shakespeare Geek have compiled their resources to give us some insight into what’s going on in his mind:

  • My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun. I think that means I can claim her ophthalmologist visits as a deduction!
  • When I'm a lender, the interest income paperwork is ridiculous. But when I'm a borrower I'm paying interest and then still getting taxed on the income to boot! Note to self: Don't be either one of those.
  • If I can only get rid of that second-best bed (Note: What if I will it to Anne?), I'll be in a lower tax bracket.
  • Grief fills the room up of my absent child. That means I can still claim him as a dependent! Yay!
  • Three dollars to the Presidential Election Campaign Fund? No. I think I’d rather pop in between the election and their hopes.
  • If I drown my books, I wonder if I could deduct that as flood damage?
  • Oh, come on! We dismantle and move one little theatre and now I need to pay real estate tax on it twice?
  • What? That’s how much I owe? What do they want from me? A pound of flesh? Zounds!
  • O, for a muse of fire . . . or at least another week to get these forms together.
  • A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse! Then I could claim it as a capital gains loss.
  • You know what? Next time I'm voting for Ron Paul.
  • Should I put Brutus down as a Capitol gain or a Capitol loss—or both?
  • The most frustrating thing about this whole process is that Marlowe pays less taxes than his secretary.
  • Is this a dagger that I see before me, the handle toward my hand? No, it's just Form 8233: Exemption From Withholding on Compensation for Independent (and Certain Dependent) Personal Services of a Nonresident Alien Individual. [That's a real form, by the way.]

Our thanks for his contributions to this guest post to kj, the author of Bardfilm. Bardfilm is a blog that comments on films, plays, and other matters related to Shakespeare.

. . . and we didn't even have to resort to a "Do I need Form 2B or not?" joke! —SG

. . . at least not until now! —kj

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