Does Branagh Have Whedon-Envy?

How excited would *you* get when the headline “Branagh hints at Shakespeare with Hiddleston” pops up in your newsfeeds?  Instaclick!

“…he also found time to tell us that he’d love to direct Tom Hiddleston as Benedick in Much Ado About Nothing.”

Wait….really?  Is Branagh going down the “reboot” path on his already well-respected, star-studded 1993 version?

Or could it have something to do with the fact that another director of superheroes (Kenneth Branagh did Thor,  Joss Whedon did the Avengers) just had a more recent, also very well regarded version?

The funny thing is that they’ve now both directed Tom Hiddleston as Loki.  I have this vision of them both having him by one arm and pulling in opposite directions screaming “Mine!”) until he splits down the middle.

“Hey Kenneth, did you hear that Joss got the Avengers gig?  So he gets to direct Thor this time.”


    “Yeah, well, fine, I’ve still got the whole Shakespeare thing.”


“Well, yeah, about that….”


How funny would it be if Branagh couldn’t get Hiddleston because Tom had already signed on for Joss’ next project, a full-text Hamlet?

Let’s Dissect the 2014 Shakespeare Films

Ok, this Shortlist link tells us about upcoming Shakespeare movies to ‘get excited about’ in 2014. At first I was because I didn’t realize there were 4.  But let’s look more closely.

1) Cymbeline

Ok, we’ve talked about this enough already. I think “cautiously hopeful” would be the best we can say, especially after the trailer came out.  You know, the one with the flamethrowers?

2) Macbeth

This one should be good, although maybe I’m just out of the loop that I don’t recognize any of the names they’re dropping.  Michael Fassbender?  Marion Cotillard (who we’ve previously discussed)?  Fine.  But then they’re all “Ooo! It’s being directed by the guy that did Snowtown!” and I’m all, “What the heck is Snowtown?”

What I think is really funny is that they’re *still* saying “…who replaced Natalie Portman.” We first learned that back in August 2013. I think that lends evidence to my theory that name recognition is everything.  Even though she’s not in it, they still want the buzz that her name generates.  (Trivia – Natalie Portman auditioned for Juliet in Baz Luhrman’s movie but didn’t get it because she was way too small compared to DiCaprio and it looked too pedophilish.)

3) Enemy of Man


I’ll just leave this here, from the summary:  “stripping back the dialogue and cranking up the action.”  Yeah, because that’s why we go see Shakespeare. For the action.  Maybe they could tackle Hemingway next?   (“Dude, did you see that guy just gut that other guy from his stomach all the way up to his face?” / “I know!  That’s some straight up Macbeth action right there!”)

4) Rosaline


I started out optimistic about this one when I first heard about it back in 2011, pondering whether it could be another Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead. Then I got a look at the source material, which proudly describes itself thusly:

“Rosie knows that she and Rob are destined to be together. They are best friends, next door neighbors, and the soon-to-be cutest couple in their senior class. Rosie has been waiting for years for Rob to kiss her–and when he finally does, it’s perfect. But just before their relationship becomes completely official, Rosie’s cousin Juliet moves back into town. Juliet, who used to be Rosie’s best friend. Juliet, who now inexplicably hates her. Juliet, who is gorgeous, vindictive, and a little bit crazy…and who has set her sights on Rob. He doesn’t even stand a chance. 

Rosie is devastated over losing Rob to Juliet. This is not how the story was supposed to go. And when rumors start swirling about Juliet’s instability, her neediness, and her threats of suicide, Rosie starts to fear not only for Rob’s heart, but also for his life. Because Shakespeare may have gotten the story wrong, but we all still know how it ends.”

The scariest thing about this project is that it really makes you say “Who the f%& is deciding what movies get made these days?”

My favorite part of the summary, I think, is that it’s going to be in “modern language.”  Because, well, you know, Rosaline doesn’t actually HAVE ANY LINES IN SHAKESPEARE’S PLAY!  At least the villains making this one didn’t go all Julian Fellowes and just start adding in random crap that sounds like Shakespeare to them.

So maybe I’m “excited” for just the Macbeth?  Maybe the Cymbeline.  Technically it sounds like two of them aren’t even Shakespeare. I’d like to hear more about Enemy of Man and just how much original text it uses.

Judges Who Quote Shakespeare

I always love it when a judge quotes Shakespeare at a criminal.  I imagine the defendant (and quite possibly most of the courtroom) getting this confused sort of “Huh?” look and requiring it be explained to them.

The quote:

“He’s here in double trust,” quoted the judge. ‘First, as I am his kinsman and his subject, strong both against the deed: then, as his host, who should against his murderer shut the door, not bear the knife himself.”

Macbeth, of course. The story of a man who invites the king to his house, and then rather than protecting him, kills him.

The crime:

Ontario Court Justice Gilles Renaud remarked that Marcel Bouchard had the trust of a 64-year-old neighbour who looked to him for protection but violated that trust when he sexually assaulted her after taking her on a birthday date to a Swiss Chalet restaurant.

Not quite the same scale, I suppose. But then again Shakespeare didn’t give us many examples of the latter (except maybe Two Gents?)

How do you not click on a story that says “Shakespeare Puppies”? I mean, come on.

“Shakespeare Puppies Appeal bags some cash,” the headline read.  Now what am I supposed to do with that?

Turns out to be a fundraiser for a project that, are you ready for this, “aims to provide 25 guide dogs, each of which will be named after a Shakespeare character.” They’ve already started with Juliet and hope to follow with Hamlet, Titus, Troilus, Othello…

On the one hand I love this idea.  Whenever the task of naming something comes up, I always start with “Can I name it from Shakespeare?”  (Remind me to tell you a funny story about that later in this post.)  So I love the idea of dogs named for Shakespeare.  I’m usually outvoted in my own personal life, otherwise I’d be surrounded by such things.

But…doesn’t the ultimate owner of a guide dog get to name it?  Maybe I don’t understand, but that seems unusual.  When we got our dog we didn’t ask what her name already was. We named her.

And how about the choices they rattled off in the article?  How about adoption day for the poor guy that gets Troilus?  “I can’t wait, this is so cool, I love the idea that my dog is going to be named from Shakespeare, maybe I’ll get Iago or Hamlet or Brutus…..wha….who the heck is Troilus?”

(*) When you install new Unix machines on a network you have to give them a name. Sometimes there is already a naming scheme in place, sometimes you get to start one.  This was a new team with all new computers, and I had two to install which I named Macbeth and Macduff.  As new machines came up I continued naming from Shakespeare – Lear, Othello, Hamlet, Iago…  Well eventually we hired dedicated IT people to do this, and the chief IT guy who had a sense of humor on him decided that the original naming scheme was actually “mac-” words.  So he began naming machines “macncheese”, “macgruff”, “macfly”, “macjagger” and so on (yes, he was playing fast and loose with the mac/mc thing).  Then another IT guy got in on the act decided that “macfly” was really supposed to be “80’s movie catch phrases” and named a machine “bueller”.  I wish I could remember all the different directions it spun from there.

What Will Your Verse Be? (New iPad Air Commercial)

Steve Jobs may no longer be with us, but this new Apple commercial had my jaw on the floor for every word, before I even knew what it was a commercial for:

I heard Robin Williams say, “We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race,” and thought, “Well holy sh*t that’s going on the blog.” Ask me again why Shakespeare is relevant. Go on, ask me. Because I know what my answer is going to be.

We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, “O me! O life!… of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless… of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?” Answer. That you are here – that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?