Friday, September 27, 2013

Well, That Turned Violent Quickly

While getting ready to send my oldest off to middle school this morning, the following conversation took place:

Daughter : "Daddy, I was talking to one of my friends about Shakespeare at school yesterday..."

Me : "Oh?  What about?"

Daughter : "She said she read a book and she doesn't think Shakespeare wrote Sh..."

Me : "You punch her!  You punch her right in the face!"

Daughter : <starts laughing hysterically>

Me : "I am completely and totally serious, you say 'This is from my Dad!' and then BOOM, right in the nose.  And then when her hands go up to protect her bloodied and broken face?  BOOM! You give her the ol' upper cut to the solar plexus."

DISCLAIMER : Do not punch Oxfordians in the face. They've already got enough personal problems without having to worry about their health insurance premiums increasing.

I did go on to offer at least the basics of the authorship issue (which we've certainly covered in my house before), suggested that she almost certainly read a book about Oxford (to which my daughter bless her geeklet heart said, "I thought it was Francis Bacon?"), and that she could explain to her friend should the conversation come up again that there have been about 77 contenders for the Shakespeare throne, and if it's all the same with her, we'll stick with the guy whose name is on the front of the book.


Brian said...

My points has always been. Would you rather see a play by the great Shakespeare or see an Oxfordian play. Which sounds like going to see an old pair of shoes. I always enjoy your work.

Anonymous said...

It seems to me that many Shakespeare enthusiasts aren't keeping up on the authorship debate. There were recently put out a book from each side. The Stratfordians finally put out all of their evidence for their theory. Then the doubters or anti-Stratfordians answered with their book. The home team took quite a beating on every point. See the two books "Shakespeare Beyond Doubt" and "Shakespeare Beyond Doubt?"

Brian said...

Then again we are not Shakespearian enthusiasts We are Shakespeare readers and play goers. Shakespeare wrote Shakespeare show me one document that says that someone else wrote the greatest literature of all times then maybe I will change my beliefs.

JM said...

To "Anonymous":

Any so-called "evidence", from both sides, is sketchy at best (especially much of the nonsense issuing from both Bardolators and anti-Stratfordians).

But here's the trump card--Any solid evidence from contemporaries always references some guy by the name of William Shaksper, Shakespear, Shakspere, or Shakespeare.
Curious, that...curious enough for me to dismiss the mythical, illogically- protracted, conspiratorial, movie script meanderings of the nay-sayers.

Nick said...

I think you over-reacted. In your position, I would have instructed the young lady not to punch but to bite her thumb.