Thursday, March 29, 2012

Country Song Shakespeare

Howdy, y'all!

What do you think the greatest works of literature in the western world would sound like if we'd given William Shakespeare a big ol' cowboy hat, some boots, and stuck a guitar in his hand? I think it woulda gone a little somethin' like this.  One!  Two!  One, two, three!

  • Strangled My Wife Because My Best Friend Told Me She Was Cheating But He Lied
  • My Girlfriend's Gone Crazy And My Mom Married My Uncle
  • I'm Swearing Off Women, At Least Until The Next One Comes Along
  • My New Best Bro Turned Out To Be A Broad
  • Her C's, U's and T's Made An F'ing A Outta Me (explicit)
  • Those Weren't Her C's After All (The Yellow Stockings Song) (radio friendly)
  • Called My Girl A Ho On Our Wedding Day
  • Never Drug Your Wife To Win An Argument (She'll Sleep With The First Ass She Meets)
  • You Only Say You Love Me When I Offer You A Third of My Kingdom
  • Who's Taming Who Here Anyway?
  • Don't Tell My Fool, My Achy Breaky Fool
  • My Drinking Buddy Is King Now But All I Am Is Banished
  • Proud To Be Syracusan (Where At Least I Know I'm Not Ephesian)
  • My Boyfriend Killed My Dad, I'm Going Swimming
  • Hitchhiked My Way To Dunsinane On A Tree That Was Going My Way
  • Never Listen To Witches, Or Your Wife
  • I Want My Kingdom Back, This Horse You Sold Me Stinks

Thanks to my co-conspirator Bardfilm for his contributions to this list!


Alexi said...

I don't get the "Proud to be Syracusan" one... If it's about Comedy of Errors, shouldn't it say "Ephesian" instead of "Illyrian?" If it's about Twelfth Night, what's the reference to Syracuse mean?

Duane Morin said...

That's what happens when I write those posts at midnight, Alexi! Oops! Fixed, but leaving Alexi's comment in for context. :)

Ophelia said...

The idea of Malvolio singing, even after the letter scene, is hilarious.

Sean O'Sullivan said...

My D.I.V.O.R.C.E didn't become
final today..

- Henry Vlll

Nick said...

Not satisfied with merely a song title, I am sending you the chorus.

She blamed it on some magic spell, she said it made her wonkey; when it wore off, she realized she'd fallen for a donkey.

Nick said...

Three sisters sounded like a real good time, until I actually meet em; As soon as I saw these chicks up close, I said to myself forget em.

Nick said...

Us cowboys, we wear funny clothes, but I heard of a certain fella, Tried to impress his lady love by puttin on socks a yella.